Recorded Autumn/Winter 2006, in Huntington Beach, California.
When I started this piece, the intention was to do something in the vein of Spacemen 3. There were a couple other similar bands such as the Darkside (1st EP) and Sundial whose influence I wanted to incorporate as well. And while the core blues-ish guitar riffs and lost-love-as-apocalypse lyrical content certainly hit that mark, the instrumental of this song mutated into something altogether darker, heavier, noisier and far more devastatingly sinister than any of those bands have been known to make.
Something about the way the guitars were layered, with several intertwining riffs and melodies accidentally resulted in this almost impossibly expansive atmospheric quality. And the fuzz tones, again, all selected in a fairly blind, unintentional manner, ended up melting together in some bizarre, effervescent chemical reaction that makes this track feel like it is exploding right out of the speakers. The metallic tones of the heavily compressed doumbek further enhance this menacing, drowning-in-oblivion quality. I remember being totally thrilled with the unintended outcome of this track. I had never been able to get my vocals to sound quite like this, not just with the effect processing but also the delivery that was somehow breathy and exhausted while being simultaneously gut-wrenching and abrasive.
I'd probably say this song still stands as one the single best tracks I've recorded. There have been points where I've considered using it as the basis for an entire album, but it probably works better as a one-off anomaly that needn't be expounded upon. By the way, this was the 3rd in the trio-series of breakup songs I referred to in the notes to "Love is a Mindfuck." Interesting the hear the progression of emotional tone between the two tracks; the contrast could scarcely be more pronounced. I'll always have a great deal of pride with regard to this piece, even though I feel I had very little conscious control over the exceedingly powerful end result. To this day, I don't think I'd change a single thing about it.
lyrics
Well, I'm dying
I'm dying just to get out of my head
I'm trying
I'm trying, but nothing brings an end
I'm doing what I can to clear you from my mind
But there will always be all of these traces left behind
I keep having
I keep having these flashbacks about you
I keep dreaming
That you came back, but I know it aint true
I'm doing what I can to clear you from my mind
But there will always be all of these traces left behind
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